McTease

As you all probably know by now, McDonald's is the 1337357 place ever, and cheeseburgers are the 1337357 food ever. For years, I have known this, and for years, I have consumed much of their delicious product. With the advent of their dollar menu, I was super excited about double cheeseburgers being just $1. Then, they took away a piece of cheese, called it a McDouble, and made that $1. I was still happy, McHappy even. Then came the 24 hour drive-thru. Could this be? With all this talk of the end of the world, it looks like we live in Heaven already! There was nothing like Big Mac attacking at 1:00 AM! Sure, the menu is limited to just a few items then, but the stuff on it is still 1337!

So, after a long night of 8"/More to loving, I was Big Mac attacking and rolled up to the drive-thru in my 1337 whip at 2:45 AM. I demanded my two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, and sesame seed bun, only to be denied! The haunting voice from the other side of the squawk box informed me that they started serving breakfast at 2:00 AM. WHAT? Breakfast? It's 2:45 AM! What is this, Denny's? Who the hell wants breakfast? I want a f***ing burger! I asked if I had accidentally wandered into a Burger King drive-thru, because this was absolutely retarded. The voice then suggested I try a sausage burrito. I then suggested she try my sausage burrito before yelling at her because a sausage burrito is not made of cow! I wanted to eat some f***ing McCow, and I wanted that McCow McNow! I needed a plan.

So, I grabbed my katana and started planning. It turns out the resolution was quite simple. Apparently, when an angry ninja panda is holding a katana, it is suddenly 1:00 AM. Mc1337!

Andy