Suck my left one, Tom

MySpace has now declared war on your favorite 1337 Ninja Prime Minister. They've done it, of all places, in an ad for some crap called MySpace Secret Shows. I was ready to login so I could see all the messages I got from sex starved porn girls, ringtone scammers, and the makers of this weird hydraulic wiener sling thingy, when I looked to the left and saw the ad, which was a blatant and intentional shot at ME, Prime Minister Ninja Andrew Nathaniel Panda Jr.

It's obviously a thinly veiled message that people should shoot at me! Ok, I know some of my readers may be slow and less 1337 than me, so I've constructed a visual aid so that you can picture their real thoughts.

All you have to do is lighten the color of the original and add a 1337 bandanna, and... oh my god, it's ME!

Well, it's almost me. They gave me a gun to make me more threatening and evil. I prefer a sword as my weapon of choice. Once you've made all those changes, behold! Their hidden agenda to trick porn girls, spammers, and wiener sling salespersons into shooting me becomes plain as day! Well, two can play at this game!

I think this version of the ad is far superior to the Andy threatening version. It's so beautiful that it chokes me up a bit. Actually, I think that's going to be my desktop wallpaper for a while. Ah, 1337!

Ok, we're even now, Tom. Don't pull this Panda threat crap anymore!

Andy

The Crush

So, I got a message on MySpace earlier from the butt of a girl named Serena. I figure it was from her butt, because that is all you can see in her picture. Of course, maybe the girl's name is Nikki or something, and her butt's name is Serena. That would be crazy. Anyway, her message went as follows:

Hey I've been reading about you for a while and kinda have a crush lol. I wrote you a long message but it was too big for my space so I put it in my profile..

<3Love

Actually, maybe the message was from her thong, which you can also see in the picture. The thong's name would be <3Love. Yep, that makes sense. The account belongs to Nikki's butt, Serena, but Serena's thong, <3Love, wrote the message to me. Holy crap. The thong on the butt of a crazy girl who registered a MySpace account for her ass has a crush on me. How do I react to that? Maybe I should look at her profile.

Hmm, this chick's butt is warped. Under books, it claims that it reads "Miracle on th Street." Hmm, maybe you can't see numbers if you only have one brown eye.

Eww, Serena's only friend is Tom. Boo!

Anyway, I couldn't find that long message <3Love left on Serena's profile. There were just a bunch of lame graphical links to Nikki, Serena, and <3Love's affiliated scams.

Sorry <3Love, but I'm too busy to mess around with you if you're going to make things difficult. Now, to see if the webmaster of Andyville.org has replied to me...

Andy