MySpace Applications!

I think this is getting out of control. MySpace has applications, and everyone is playing them... and I do mean everyone:


Those people aside, people who have good websites do too, like me, your 1337 Prime Minister! Sure, the apps are pretty lame. Sure, there are 4000 versions of the one same f***ing app... but since there's apps there now, there are less of Tom's precious ads for gay guys having sex! Hooray!

That Nerd Douche Cray even made friggin' property calculators for Mobsters, Heroes, Mafia Wars, Dragon Wars, Pirates - Rule the Caribbean, Outworld, Rockstars, Vampires, Gangster, Street Racing, Gang Wars, Mob Wars, and Special Forces on Andyville. What a dork.

These apps are pissing me off though. They are all the same friggin' thing, but everyone tries to act like they are all unique. Now, they all have the stupidest new feature. They are all shilling for their own personal poker sites. I get that for the mob games, but why would vampires be playing poker? What the hell does poker have to do with street racing? What is wrong with you greedy assholes? Are you so desperate to cash in on the success of something that you have to attach something completely unrelated to it? Is your poker game so bad that you have to bribe people with in-game money to get them to actually play it? You app creators suck.

Andy

Crazy Carrie

So, I'm on TomSpace, wasting my life, and I get a friend request from a porn girl named Carolina. What a lazy porn girl! Couldn't she come up with a cool name like Ava Devine, Lisa Sparxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, or Angela D'Angelo? Carolina? That's a state! States aren't sexy!

So, I went to her profile to message her about her name needing to be more sexy when I saw that her profile was just a picture overlaid over the profile trying to look like a profile! Wow, this is like backwards of when they were putting pictures under my pictures. Look how "convincing" this picture is:

All the lettering looks just as crisp as in this picture of the top of Andyville I converted from PNG to JPG to GIF to JPG:


Of course, I'll let Carrie get away with that, as she, like many of my other porn girls, seems to have issues. For one, she can't spell Horny or use the right smiley for it. Actually, she doesn't even have an age or location. However, that might all be because she's not on MySpace, but on MySpace Canada. They don't even have gravity there yet!

She also seems to have multiple personalities, as shown in this illustration:

Her name is Carolina, but she is listed in 3 places on this one page as KinkyLaura DirtySarah, and Karatron. WTF? All of these are better porn names than Carolina! Why don't you use these, Carrie? Of course, I guess we are talking about Canada here, so maybe that's just her full name split up. Carolina KinkyLaura DirtySarah Karatron of Winetoba, Manipeg, Canada. It even makes sense the way they smash words together. It's like Newfoundland. But, that means that you'd pronounce KinkyLaura as Kanna and DirtySarah as Diarrhea. Wait... Kanna Diarrhea? OMG! This is like that cult that craps in bottles! I need to get away from this chick!

But... I think I might check out her Siamese twin friends. They look like they might be fun.

Andy

Desperate Porn Girls

I know I'm 1337. You don't have to tell me every five minutes (but thank you anyway). Furthermore, you don't have to resort to crazy schemes to talk to me. Geez! You porn girls are getting desperate!

I'm especially talking about one I got a while back from "I'm too fly" on MySpace. First off, you're coming pretty close to gimmick infringement as "I'm too fly" is pretty close to "I'm 50 1337!" I'll let it go though as imitation is the sincerest form of sucking up... or something like that.

Anyway, here is her message, along with my brilliant commentary, of course.

Subject: hey

Uh, hey...

hii..

Um... hiiiii?

basically i never ever likeed anyone from myspace

Me neither. I have never "likeed" anyone from MySpace. I've "toleerateed" some, but never "likeed" any.

and i clicked your profile from browse and i thought you were festive

FESTIVE? What the hell do you mean by that? "I'm too fly," you are a girl, right? RIGHT? Holy crap... this may not quite be what I thought it was when I started...

and found myself actually interested in you.

Well, that's completely understandable...

lol

Why the f*** is that funny?

i talked to my friend ash and she said to go for you

Assuming you're a hot girl, your friend "ash" is very wise.

and we should take a compatibility test first...

"ash" is retarded.

anyways i believe in this kinda stuff

Oh... so you're retarded too... that takes the fun out of it...

so i made one for you its in my profile just look its big and green in my profile.

Big... and... green... wow. I think I just got hit by the short bus.

if we match.. and you are interested in me contact me back.

1. We won't
2. I'm not
3. I won't

i promised ash i will not respond back to you until i get the official test results

Is "ash" your tard handler? Why do the sped huts have internet access now?

so if you send any msgs to me i wont get them until you finish.

That doesn't make sense. Are you being held hostage? Does "ash" go through all your messages before you get a chance to read them?

you seem perfect

I am.

i never had this feeling before..

Did you soil your underoos?

**im crossing my fingers**

I'm making fun of you on my blog.

~toodles

Golden Retriever to you too.

-Andy